these questions have been answered!

5.23.2011

On February 20th, after a night of one too many margaritas and a fun time at the roller derby, Christopher and i were trying to get our act together to head out and start picking out stuff for our kitchen renovation. I noticed that i had missed a call on my cell. I didn't recognize the number, but my general rule of thumb is if i don't know who it is, i'm not going to be that wacko that calls back. So whatever. We were just getting ready to walk out the door at 12:32 PM and that same number tried to call again. I said to Christopher.."oh, one sec, that number is trying to call again." I pick up. My life changed forever.

"Rebecca?"

"Yes."

"It is Patty, from Friends in Adoption." My entire body went warm and numb. The most bizarre rush happened. I knew what was happening at that moment.

"I have a case I want to talk to you about."

"OMG! Let me put you on speaker, Christopher is right here."

Patty proceeded to tell us about the case as we both listened, while our eyes were tearing up. She paused and said..."You two are so calm, are you alright?"

All i could say was.."Patty, this is 100% surreal right now. I honestly was starting to think i would never become a mother, and that i would win the lottery before this would happen."

We learned that the couple was young, that she has another son and is just struggling with raising him at 18 months, let alone raise another child. We learned the due date was in 8 short weeks, that it was a boy and that her son she is raising is named Christopher. (How is that for some irony).

We learned that they live locally to us, within the hour, that the baby will be born at the hospital where i was born, and that we wouldn't have to travel by air or train to get there. Just our good old car.

We learned that they wanted to meet us the following week. Oh. My. Shitting. Goodness. One week!!

That whole week we were wondering what to say, what to bring, what to do and how to act. We knew they have what we want. We knew our emotions had to stay at bay. We knew we had to keep quiet. We told no one that we had this meeting. I lie, my older sister whom i keep nothing from and who is my rock, we told. We were so fearful of the fact that just because we were meeting them, didn't mean we would be chosen to parent.

Fast forward to February 27th. That weekend we packed up some cookies for them, a mini album of more recent photos of us and some small toys for her son Christopher as we knew we would be meeting him. We had about an hour to drive. As we were getting closer to the diner for breakfast, Christopher started to ask me something. (I still can't remember what it was). I said..."please don't talk to me, i think i might vomit." I was so overwhelmed with so many feelings, I couldn't function.

We park the car and start to walk to the diner. My legs were shaking so hard, i thought i might fall. I was an emotional hot mess and was telling myself to keep my shit together as we walked in.

We immediately made eye contact with our caseworker and headed to the corner booth to meet the potential birth parents. "A" stood up and hugged me. I wanted to hold on so tight to her and not let go. Such a young girl at 19 with such big decisions to make. "J" shook our hands and smiled.

At first there was so much awkwardness. Thank goodness for Patty, because I didn't know what to say without over stepping boundaries or saying the wrong thing. I wanted them to like us! I sort of felt like we were in a job interview.

We were able to have some really nice small talk, and then we talked about the bigger things. We found out they looked at 10 profiles, and only wanted to meet us. We were so honored, grateful and speechless. Knowing there are so many families waiting at our agency, I'm sure it was tough for them. We asked why they chose us and they obliged. We both immediately filled up with tears and asked what they would like for their son. Such simple things that i guess i take for granted.

They also told us that they would want us to name him, since we would be parenting. They loved the name that we had picked way back 4 years ago when we first started to try and have a family.

We left about an hour and a half later wondering the what-ifs. It was such an anxiety filled day. I was just almost numb. I didn't know what to feel or think. We knew they wanted some time to decide if they wanted us to parent.

The next day, we got a phone call at about 1:30 PM. Patty called to say that "A" and "J" loved us and wanted us to parent. I broke down at my desk at my office. I cried so hard i couldn't breathe. This was really happening. All of the emotion, heartache and waiting was about to come to an end. I called my sister at work (she is a pharmacist and works until 9, so i couldn't wait) and she broke down for us. She has been the most amazing support for us throughout our time in trying to start a family, i couldn't wait until the next day to call her. I called Christopher at his job and he came to meet me at my office. I saw him, hugged him, and he just knew. I don't think we have ever hugged and just cried for that long. Ever!

The only downside to the situation was that since they live in NYS, we had to abide by their 30 day revocation period. We decided after talking with the agency, the best thing to do was to keep this very quiet. Anything could happen at anytime and we just weren't prepared to answer questions if god forbid something happened. Hiding the match was the easy part. We were able to get out of situations pretty easily and act like we were still waiting. Although we hated doing it, we wanted to protect our feelings, and the birth parents' feelings. Being fairly local, we just never knew who might know someone.

The baby was due on April 19th. Since she gave birth to her other son on the very day he was due, we figured she might deliver on time or early. Our kitchen project needed to take a severe step up so we would be sure it was complete. At this point, we had about 6 weeks, minus the potential of her going into labor early. We had a handful of loose ends to wrap up and i had tons of client work to get in order so i could take time off.

------At this point, i have so much more of the story to tell, and details to give through our wait. However, at this point, i would like to introduce you to Parker Owen, born on April 22nd. 7 lbs., 5 oz and 19.5 inches long.------


This was from a photo shoot was he was 5 days old. My great friend from Clark + Walker studio came to our house to shoot. Don't worry, there will be many more i'll show you. I just want to take my time and tell you all the great details. I just couldn't wait any longer to give you the news! I have to say, it was one of the reasons for me being so quiet around here. So much that has happened the past couple of months has revolved around our adoption and i couldn't give anything away.

OH- did i mention how hard it was to hide a baby for a month? ;-P


26 comments:

Alexis said...

Delurking to say CONGRATULATIONS! I'm truly so happy for you. What a wonderful story....he is so precious.

Jessica said...

I had a feeling this might be what was going on when you stopped posting so much! Congratulations!!!!

Stephanie R said...

OMG!! Rebecca, I am so happy for you! I'm in tears as I read your words and pray thanksgivings on your behalf. What an amazing story. I can't wait to hear more!! xoxo

Rebecca said...

Seriously - how DO you hide a baby for that long?! Much love to you Rebecca!

Nicole C said...

What a beautiful story and beautiful baby boy. I can't wait to meet him!

And really this should have come with a "do not read at work" warning--I'm crying at my desk!

Rachel S said...

Oh my gosh. SO amazing, Rebecca. Congratulations! I am so so thrilled for you. He is perfect. You deserve all the happiness in the world. All the best to your FAMILY! :) I can't wait to hear more!

stephanie michele said...

I had tears reading this - so amazing. Congratulations, he is so handsome!

Deanna said...

Handsome little man. He is so lucky to have beautiful, loving parents like you. There are no words to convey how my heart swells for you. Congrats, congrats, congrats a MILLION times over!

Rachee said...

Another delurker here. CONGRATULATIONS! He is gorgeous and is so blessed to have parents like you! I've been following your blog for a while and am so happy for your and your husband! I can't wait to hear the deets on how you hid him ;)

Anonymous said...

OMG OMG OMG. Delurking to tell you that I am crying tears of joy for you. I have read your blog for almost two years, since I found it while on TB, and my DD will be 2 in July. I am so, so, so happy for you. He is gorgeous and you will be such wonderful parents.

Erin said...

Yay! I am so happy for you. He is GORGEOUS, and such a great name. I have been checking your blog every day, hoping you'd have this news for us. More pictures, please (of baby and kitchen but baby most importantly!)

Jen said...

(Also delurking) So happy for you! Glad your prayers have been answered!!!!

Janet said...

So thrilled for you and Chris! What a beautiful boy with a handsome name!

Hurdles of Life said...

Congratulations Momma!!! &hugs;

nikinikinine said...

:) I can't wait for more details, or Saturday!

Kara said...

Words cannot describe the joy I feel for you and Christopher! What a gift!

Anonymous said...

Rebecca & Christopher, I am so happy for you all. I checked in every now & then to your blog & thought you must be feeling down & discouraged & quite the reverse was happening. Many heartfelt congratulations now you have your precious little boy to love. I have to go get a kleenex.


Barbara from Canada

Marcyiam said...

Congratulations Rebecca and Christopher! I am beyond excited for you guys!

And I can't even imagine hiding a baby for a month!

Can't wait to see more pics and here more details!

Congratulations again!

Sara said...

Just a blog reader that has been reading your story and sending good wishes your way during your journey... I am tearing up at my desk right now and so happy for you guys (even though ive never met you!) Enjoy your family, the adventures ahead and many many congrats to you!

Kristin (kekis) said...

Just saw your announcement on TB and wanted to say congratulations! We are in the VERY beginning stages of the adoption process, and hearing your experience makes me that much more excited to get the ball rolling. Reading your words here have me in tears because my hope is restored again.

Parker is amazingly beautiful! He is a very blessed little boy to have such an awesome family to be his own now.

Sew.What. said...

Oh my gosh, I am just beyond thrilled for you two. I almost cried when I saw a thumbnail picture next to your blog post. I couldn't wait to read this post knowing you are now a mom. Congrats. Can't wait to hear more and see more of this little man.

sheba said...

rebecca, words can't express my feelings right now. i'm shaking just reading your post. i'm so happy for you and christopher. parker is beautiful . . . i don't know how you hid him all this time! xo

Anonymous said...

So very happy for you!!!!! He's just beautiful!!

Enjoy every moment :)

--Wendy (I can't log on for some reason...not sure what's wrong with google/blogger)

Beth said...

Saw your annoucement on TB and I want to say congratulations!!! Your story made me tear up at my desk.

Sarah said...

Rebecca!!!! OMG, can not even explain how happy and relieved I am for you guys. Had to stop reading half way through and come back because I was crying so much! He is simply beautiful. Hi, Parker! You are a cutie and you are loved so much already. You are one lucky dude:)

Thank you for sharing all this with us...we have all been waiting with baited breath, hoping and praying that your teasers meant it had finally happened. Congratulations, mama! You are in for the ride of your life. Can't wait to hear more and see more pics. I want to know how the first month has been!!!

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