[ my birthday wish ]


The one and only wish.

I bet you can guess. I'm OK with sharing, i'm not superstitious. Well.. that is a lie. Ladders and black cats freak me the heck out. Black cats are too cute to look at, but please don't cross me.

You might remember at about the 4 month mark of our wait, i talked to our coordinator at the agency.

We are now in the 8th month . I can't lie. It is getting progressively harder. I don't care what anyone says or the advice people try and give, there is nothing that will take my mind off of the wait. So each day that passes, each month we spend more money, I am a big ball of emotional mess. There, i said it.

Underneath my happy go-lucky attitude i am weeping. I am a combination of pissed, and heartbreak that it hasn't happened. I have envy that some friends have experienced an entire pregnancy already and upset to see my Christopher upset with the wait.

I wished for a quick match. I didn't wish for a baby, because i know he or she will find us. I just wished for the wait to be over. I wished to have my life filled with the missing piece.

So, with all of this, i talked again to our coordinator. Here is the latest since January.
Our profile was shipped out 3 times in February, 2 times in March, 3 times in April and once in May. She can't give specifics because of HIPA, but most of the babies are due in July, one in September and in November. Also, interestingly, 75% are not local. I can't get my hopes up, but for now, it is a piece of something for us to hang onto.


Jessica said...

I sincerely hope you get your birthday wish! Best of luck! :-)

Wendy said...

Rebecca - It's wonderful that your profile is being shown that much. It really is. I hope that you get your birthday wish, too -- I hope you are matched very very soon.

Sarah said...

Aw, honey, I'm sorry! Thanks for keeping us updated. That seems like a pretty good amount of profile sharing, doesn't it? So how does it work...do they actually wait until the babies are born to match or do it beforehand? Would they already be finding families for the July babies? Still hoping and praying for you guys:)

nikinikinine said...

Oh gosh, so frustrating. I can't even imagine. Do they have any idea when the birth mothers will make a decision? It seems promising, so many profiles set out. I have a weird gut feeling about November. Don't ask me why...

Mrs. Limestone said...

I most definitely have a word of advice but I just wanted to wish you the happiest of birthdays. Hopefully you are doing something wonderufl that you won't be able to do once you have your hands full with a beautiful son or daughter. Good luck!

Hoity Toity Baby said...

I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling! I will wish for you just as hard as you are wishing!


Amy said...

I don't really know what to say, never having been in your shoes, and don't want to say something trite or cliched. But, I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for more profile sharing and the end to your waiting!

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