[ i've opened a can of worms......

that i thought i never would ].

There. I said it.

Last Friday, i had lunch with my friend Niki. The week before, I had my friend Michelle and Dave over for dinner (who are also adopting). I told them both that I had zero desire to know what was going on with our process. By that I mean whether or not our profile has gone out to potential birth mothers. We put our fate in the hands of our agency and know they are doing their jobs and we will be matched when the time is right.

Yeah... well it has been over 3 months (which is seriously not long at all) and my curiosity got the best of me yesterday. I was emailing our coordinator at the agency about Michelle and Dave's profile that I designed for them. Well i said to myself.."well... i am already emailing, what harm could it do to just ask if our profile has gone out."

So i did.

Here is the email.

me to Kim: Hi Kim! So glad you liked the design. By the way.. i was just wondering if our profile has gone out at all. I SWORE I wouldn't ask, but my curiosity got the best of me today.

Kim to me; I'll call you tomorrow, what is the best number and time to reach you? (insert smiley face from Kim)

Shit. What did i just do? Why couldn't she just email me a yes or no. That is really all i wanted. Obviously we weren't picked, so no harm done. I just wanted to entertain my curiosity, that is all.

Christopher got home and i told him. So of course, we go through various scenarios in our heads. So now, i'm wondering what she will say today.

ETA: So Kim called me already, shortly after i posted this. She said since we have been active (Oct. 2 was our official date) our profile has gone out 4 times! Wow. She said that is great. One baby has been placed, but because of HIPA can't divulge much about the other 3. I guess it really just helps me realize that something could happen at any time, in the next week or the next year.