{ oddly ironic }

So today was the biggest whirlwind of emotions that i have had in a very long time. I got up, and got to work early today knowing i would have to take most of the afternoon off to meet with our agency. I was so full of excitement and energy. I had all my paperwork signed and ready to go. My binder was organized too! I really felt like a kid on the first day of school. But that slowly came to a halt. About an hour before we left, i got a call from the billing department at Albany IVF where we had done all of our IF treatments. It has been about 10 weeks since our failed IVF cycle and the paperwork was still being processed all this time with the insurance company. Luckily for us (or so i had thought) we had IVF coverage, which is pretty hard to get. So we were so excited when we found this out. Well, last week, we got a bill that seemed wrong. Well, it was really wrong. I called and talked to the billing department and she was looking into it. The thing is, we were converted from an IUI to IVF and so we were told that our payment would be $4,000.00. We could make payments to the clinic that we were OK with doing. We felt comfortable knowing that if it didn't work, at least we weren't out the $8-10k a normal cycle would cost, so we proceeded. Now that all the paperwork is filed, our insurance has paid our clinic $3,900.00, and our clinic is still telling us we owe $2,800.00! What i say? Oh yes... what a way to deflate me. I am in shock, and the math seems pretty straightforward to me. So now, i am upset, angry, confused and just pissed that i have to deal with this, and try to get myself excited to get to our appointment with the agency. I can't believe this is happening. So now, we have to take this up with an attorney. We are good people, we pay our bills, we had a signed contract with them telling us how much our portion would be and it has been paid, so WTH? Can't we just move on? Can't we be over the IF stuff already? We are trying so hard to stay positive about all of this, but it is a challenge- and one that gets harder with each day, and believe me, after our meeting today, we have an awfully long road ahead of us that will be filled with many obstacles. We keep telling ourselves to keep our eye on the prize, but sometimes my focus gets clouded.

So the irony of all this.... AF showed today. So instead of making a CD3 appointment, i sit in the office of an adoption agency knowing that bio children are over and we are really moving forward with our adoption.