I got confirmation today


that my anti mullerian test confirmed what we already knew. :-( That i do indeed have diminished ovarian reserve, just what was suspected.
So i laid there with the dildo cam doing its thing, and then i stepped into the other room for my blood work. I began to feel it was such a bittersweet moment. This was my last cycle day 3 clinic appointment. (although, she had to take blood from my left arm because at last week's testing the lab technician with her "lovely blue streaked hair" did a number on my arm and i still have bruises).

In about one hour from now, Christopher will give me my first of the last cycle of shots. It was weird pulling up to the RE's office today. I thought i would feel relief in some sense, but i didn't. I went in knowing that this is it. Although after i got confirmation, i'll admit that my hopes went down, but i will try and stay positive for this last cycle. (maybe i'll even give myself the shot!.. yeah.. no, not really).

I talked to my sister today. We talked for quite awhile and she just gets me and our situation. She is just such an awesome support for me right now and really wanted us to be able to use her eggs. She felt bad that she is "too old" in the RE's eyes. We now know that moving onto adoption is the best thing for us right now! It is exciting, scary, overwhelming and near nauseating to think about what we will go through. But i will say, that struggling with the last 18 months and not knowing... now we know. We know that we will be parents, one day.


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