Funny (or not so much) just when i think i'm A-OK with my emotions, something small sets me off. Today marks week 14 of waiting for a match. I won't lie, i have had my meltdowns, but nothing that i haven't been able to just pick my chin up and move along. Perhaps me doing that so swiftly has made me not think about them. Until today. I got a phone call from my sister. The best sister in the world. Truly. All she did was ask how i was doing and had we heard anything. (quick note: Christopher and i opted out of having any sort of notification from the agency until we are matched). So of course, her asking set me off.
I don't know what i was thinking. I think i thought it would have happened already? I think i thought i wouldn't obsess? I think i thought i wouldn't have these moments? I guess being in such an unknown world right now bothers me some days more than other. I think putting away all of our Christmas decorations last weekend and putting away our baby's stocking that has turned into a stocking filled with cat treats and toys yet once again. The third Christmas in a row. Perhaps the fact that we have a new nephew due any day now and all my future sister in law does is bitch. I want to bitch-slap her when she complains. Really, i do. I just wish i could have experienced morning sickness, fat ankles and weight gain. Whatever, it is for a baby for crying out loud. What are you complaining about?
Live in our world. Just. One. Day.